Lately I've been hanging out with a friend of mine who was diagnosed with "Triple Negative" Breast Cancer. I don't know what that means, but I know that they have given her about 2 years to live. She has agreed to be part of an experimental treatment program, and, with the help of Heaven, she is fighting her terminal diagnosis like hell.
My OBGYN actually retired about 6 years ago. I was not yet 40, and he had not suggested that I get my mammogram. I have never had one. In fact, I have not had a pap test in the past 6 years as well.
Because of my friend's heart and courage, I have been inspired to make an appointment for the tests. I'm not looking forward to it, but I will do it. There are, however, a few issues to consider. The main issue is that until about a year ago, I had health insurance. My HSA plan was supposed to pay for everything after I payed the first $5000. The premium had doubled in a few short years, and we decided that it made more sense to make payments AFTER something happens than it was to pay their rising premiums for service that we never used.
People say, "How can you do that? What if something BAD happens?!" Well, here's how I figure it: Premiums for a plan that had a $5000 deductible (that we never hit), plus what ever deductible we actually pay out was totaling about $4400 per year. Now, if I were to save that $4400 per year I could potentially insure myself for an expensive emergency (Average visit ranges from $1600 - $6500). More serious situations could take several years to pay off.
If I were to be diagnosed with a terminal illness, I currently have life insurance that would help my family recoup a good deal of that expense.
I guess my point is that when you weigh the chances of something bad happening vs the cost of the insurance, I believe we reached a point of diminishing return. Does that mean that I expect the government to take care of me? No. I plan on doing my best to pay what I can. Anything that my insurance would have covered would be possible for me to repay anyway.
Here's hoping (and praying) that we get a clean bill of health... That I'll be paying for myself.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Cancer...
When we are young, illness, surgery and hospitals seem to be things we associate with old people. And by old, I mean over 30. As we age, we see them as realities and hardships that our friends and family go through. Every once in a while the "C" word enters the picture and we find ourselves asking questions we never dared to ask. Why me? Why them? How did this happen? What did I do wrong? And then we realize that cancer strikes for many reasons as often as it kills for no reason at all.
Steve Jobs died today. Steve was one of the founders of Apple, and most will tell you he was the reason for their success. At 56, he had more money than most people even dream about, yet it couldn't buy him a victory in his fight against cancer. His brilliance and vision has been compared to Walt Disney and Thomas Edison, but he didn't have the knowledge to cure himself.
Cancer is an evil opponent who never fights fair. Cancer doesn't care that you are rich, smart, good-looking or kind. It fights hard, and dirty. Sometimes you think you've beat it, and it quietly returns to claim it's victory. Although some have beaten it, no one wishes to fight a battle against cancer. It's a war that chooses it's victims, and leaves them no choice.
There is hope.
A beautiful friend of mine has been fighting breast cancer. She was diagnosed with a non-curable form of breast cancer, but she chooses to fight with an experimental treatment. Understanding that there is no cure, she has her life in order as she keeps a positive attitude and shakes her fist in the face of death. She has 4 children and a loving husband who are by her side. With their support, and her faith in God's plan for her life, she battles this horrid disease with an amazing attitude. She is a bald blessing in her pink chucks and matching purse. When you see her you will not feel sorry for her you will smile, because she is smiling.
I don't know what God's plan is for my friend, but I pray for her often. When she asks for prayers, it's not for herself but for her family. She is concerned for them. They can't bear to think of life without her, and who can blame them. I know my life has been blessed because she has been in it.
As my friend reminds me, there is always hope. God is in control, and we can handle all things with his help.
Steve Jobs died today. Steve was one of the founders of Apple, and most will tell you he was the reason for their success. At 56, he had more money than most people even dream about, yet it couldn't buy him a victory in his fight against cancer. His brilliance and vision has been compared to Walt Disney and Thomas Edison, but he didn't have the knowledge to cure himself.
Cancer is an evil opponent who never fights fair. Cancer doesn't care that you are rich, smart, good-looking or kind. It fights hard, and dirty. Sometimes you think you've beat it, and it quietly returns to claim it's victory. Although some have beaten it, no one wishes to fight a battle against cancer. It's a war that chooses it's victims, and leaves them no choice.
There is hope.
A beautiful friend of mine has been fighting breast cancer. She was diagnosed with a non-curable form of breast cancer, but she chooses to fight with an experimental treatment. Understanding that there is no cure, she has her life in order as she keeps a positive attitude and shakes her fist in the face of death. She has 4 children and a loving husband who are by her side. With their support, and her faith in God's plan for her life, she battles this horrid disease with an amazing attitude. She is a bald blessing in her pink chucks and matching purse. When you see her you will not feel sorry for her you will smile, because she is smiling.
I don't know what God's plan is for my friend, but I pray for her often. When she asks for prayers, it's not for herself but for her family. She is concerned for them. They can't bear to think of life without her, and who can blame them. I know my life has been blessed because she has been in it.
As my friend reminds me, there is always hope. God is in control, and we can handle all things with his help.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Expectations... not really what you think they'll be
A speaker in my past once said that the easiest way to have problems in a marriage before it begins is to have expectations. ...not shot-for-the-moon expectations, but ANY expectations.
You're at a baseball game, and your big hitter is up with the bases loaded. The team is down by only one run, so your slugger only has to hit a single to tie it up, but a double to win the game. He has an amazing batting average, and hits home runs off this pitcher almost every time he faces him. You know he can do it, and he has to do it, because the next batter is in a huge slump. He steps to the plate with only one out. The first pitch breezes by for a strike... the crowd is confident knowing that he's just checking out the pitcher. The second pitch is a bit low, so he doesn't swing and it's called strike 2! He steps back from the plate to take a practice swing, still confident that he can complete the task at hand. As the third pitch comes in, he begins to swing with all his power and notices, too late, that the ball is coming much slower... strike 3. The crowd is crushed. The team is only down by one run, and they still have one batter left, but they have given up. Their expectations of the the 2 players have caused them to be let down. They are now angry, upset, hurt...etc.
This happens in everyday life. We find that we come to expect certain things from our job, our boss, our co-workers, our spouse, our kids and even our God. When things don't go as we expect them to, it causes stress and discomfort. Why does this happen, and why do we have these expectations?
1. We believe in fairy tales.
From the time we are born, we are read books and see movies that always have a (somewhat unrealistic) happy ending. They make us feel good, but subconsciously we begin to believe that is how life should turn out. The prince should take one look at the maid and fall madly in love, bring her flowers, whisk her away on his white horse (or his Cadillac Escalade), marry her, and keep her in diamonds and pearls for the happily ever after. Don't laugh... you have no idea how many young women actually think that's reality. Thank you, Hollywood and Disney.
2. Life is not fair
You've seen the bumper sticker "S*&# Happens". Well, it does. There will be days when you'll step in it, and there will be days when you fall face down in it while trying to jump over it. Don't doubt me on this. Thomas Edison once said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." We often can't stop the "s*&#" from happening, but we can adjust how we look at it... and if we're face down we can get a real up-close-and-personal look at it. We can learn from it, and move on.
3. We think God should be following our plan
For those of us who believe in God, he has promised many things. Among those promises is joy. ...real joy, true joy. Joy is something we can have in spite of our situations. We find this as we get closer to trusting Him and His plan. However, we often try to jump ahead of God's timing, because we think we should "help Him out." Doesn't work that way. Especially when it comes to our spouse (or future spouse). Believe me, this is a lesson that you don't want to learn the hard way.
Life rarely goes as we think it will. We need to clear our minds of our expectations, praise God in all things, and remember to trust in God's plan while we continue to work hard... especially at our marriage, and we will be blessed.
You're at a baseball game, and your big hitter is up with the bases loaded. The team is down by only one run, so your slugger only has to hit a single to tie it up, but a double to win the game. He has an amazing batting average, and hits home runs off this pitcher almost every time he faces him. You know he can do it, and he has to do it, because the next batter is in a huge slump. He steps to the plate with only one out. The first pitch breezes by for a strike... the crowd is confident knowing that he's just checking out the pitcher. The second pitch is a bit low, so he doesn't swing and it's called strike 2! He steps back from the plate to take a practice swing, still confident that he can complete the task at hand. As the third pitch comes in, he begins to swing with all his power and notices, too late, that the ball is coming much slower... strike 3. The crowd is crushed. The team is only down by one run, and they still have one batter left, but they have given up. Their expectations of the the 2 players have caused them to be let down. They are now angry, upset, hurt...etc.
This happens in everyday life. We find that we come to expect certain things from our job, our boss, our co-workers, our spouse, our kids and even our God. When things don't go as we expect them to, it causes stress and discomfort. Why does this happen, and why do we have these expectations?
1. We believe in fairy tales.
From the time we are born, we are read books and see movies that always have a (somewhat unrealistic) happy ending. They make us feel good, but subconsciously we begin to believe that is how life should turn out. The prince should take one look at the maid and fall madly in love, bring her flowers, whisk her away on his white horse (or his Cadillac Escalade), marry her, and keep her in diamonds and pearls for the happily ever after. Don't laugh... you have no idea how many young women actually think that's reality. Thank you, Hollywood and Disney.
2. Life is not fair
You've seen the bumper sticker "S*&# Happens". Well, it does. There will be days when you'll step in it, and there will be days when you fall face down in it while trying to jump over it. Don't doubt me on this. Thomas Edison once said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." We often can't stop the "s*&#" from happening, but we can adjust how we look at it... and if we're face down we can get a real up-close-and-personal look at it. We can learn from it, and move on.
3. We think God should be following our plan
For those of us who believe in God, he has promised many things. Among those promises is joy. ...real joy, true joy. Joy is something we can have in spite of our situations. We find this as we get closer to trusting Him and His plan. However, we often try to jump ahead of God's timing, because we think we should "help Him out." Doesn't work that way. Especially when it comes to our spouse (or future spouse). Believe me, this is a lesson that you don't want to learn the hard way.
Life rarely goes as we think it will. We need to clear our minds of our expectations, praise God in all things, and remember to trust in God's plan while we continue to work hard... especially at our marriage, and we will be blessed.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Power tools... Not just for men anymore
Have you ever ran a power drill or a table saw? If so you know they are not called "power tools" for nothing. The newly sharpened or best kept tools can make you feel like a Greek god in certain situations. ...and no testosterone is required for use. (We not talking about tools used in X-rated movies... get your mind out of the gutter)
Years ago, and still some today, marketing experts would target men for the tools, and women for the house hold appliances. So, for Christmas, Dad got the chainsaw, and Mom got the food processor. Knowing what I know today, that hardly seems fair. Dad's gifts were so much cooler than Mom's. I mean, seriously, would you rather have a vacuum or sawzall? It's really not much of a contest.
It seems to me to be another of the many male conspiracies to keep women in the dark. (Not that we don't have our own that quietly keep them equally blind... but that's another topic for another day) If we knew how much fun they were having with that Milwaukee brad nail gun, we would gladly let them borrow the dishwasher while we finished building the dog house.
Don't be afraid to ask how to use the power equipment. After all, you don't want to lose a finger or even break a nail if you don't have to. If your husband will not teach you how to use HIS tools (he's probably afraid you'll actually use them with more impressive results that him), you should seek the help of a professional. The stores that sell these items will be happy to teach you how to use it safely. ...and don't forget that YouTube is always there if you need a refresher course.
So, ladies, all of those items you've been wanting your man to finish around the house can be finished by you. However, if you play your cards right, when he sees you head for his miter saw (and he knows you know how to use it) he may just step in and "offer" to go ahead and do that for you. Either way, the power is in your hands now. ;-)
Years ago, and still some today, marketing experts would target men for the tools, and women for the house hold appliances. So, for Christmas, Dad got the chainsaw, and Mom got the food processor. Knowing what I know today, that hardly seems fair. Dad's gifts were so much cooler than Mom's. I mean, seriously, would you rather have a vacuum or sawzall? It's really not much of a contest.
It seems to me to be another of the many male conspiracies to keep women in the dark. (Not that we don't have our own that quietly keep them equally blind... but that's another topic for another day) If we knew how much fun they were having with that Milwaukee brad nail gun, we would gladly let them borrow the dishwasher while we finished building the dog house.
Don't be afraid to ask how to use the power equipment. After all, you don't want to lose a finger or even break a nail if you don't have to. If your husband will not teach you how to use HIS tools (he's probably afraid you'll actually use them with more impressive results that him), you should seek the help of a professional. The stores that sell these items will be happy to teach you how to use it safely. ...and don't forget that YouTube is always there if you need a refresher course.
So, ladies, all of those items you've been wanting your man to finish around the house can be finished by you. However, if you play your cards right, when he sees you head for his miter saw (and he knows you know how to use it) he may just step in and "offer" to go ahead and do that for you. Either way, the power is in your hands now. ;-)
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